Hello there lovers, if you’ll be so kind as to indulge me (especially since I already wrote it and you’re already reading – gems), I want talk about something that’s been on my mind.
Love. Pretty much all of the people in all of the places have ventured into the territory. Of course, it lolls around happily in my skull quite frequently. Though after a conversation I had with someone quite dear to me recently, I was propelled into some quite serious pondering about the various forms love takes on, and how we convey it. The conversation also left me feeling there should be a lot more lovin’ going on.
Well, to be honest it was less a conversation and more a love text-slinging match. An exchanges where each party spends a great deal of thought showering the other with unadulterated compliments. It may not surprise you that I often find myself in these types of matches. And before anyone gets excitable, those of you who know of my commitment to find a sweet gent bearing a fruit basket, it was not a contender. It was instead a beautiful (and only mildly unhinged) lady I’ve known since age seven.
Our exchange started something like:
Love you more.
No you hang up.
No. You have the prettiest hair.
No. YOUR eyes light up the ocean.
But soon turned to:
No, YOUR skin reflects like little diamonds sparkling in a dark cave on a considerably gloomy day.
No, YOUR hands calm the wild anger of a thousand armies with one gentle brush of your incomprehensibly soft skin.
And then, the Beauty pulled out the big guns and started quoting Songs of Solomon.
Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mt Gilead.
Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless. Each tooth matched with its twin.
Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates with rare spices.
Pomegranates?! How does one compete with that? Yes, I was beat by Solomon, of the Bible. I might add, those are some quite peculiar pick up lines… if you want to take them out on the town, do report back on your success.
Amidst the love-off I was sorting and re-shuffling my own love categories. The wild abandon the Beauty and I lavish endearment is evidence of our long-time love. But I had to wonder how it compared to the relations with those I’ve known for just a few months, but could just as easily and strangely express my adoration?
Certainly, we all have the capacity for love. I do not refer to you dear people as ‘lovers’ because of a flat refusal to learn your names; each of you wonderful creatures loves something or someone. Though, it all depends on your definition of love though. How far do you stretch your definition to encompass all your affections?
One of the most perfect descriptions I’ve read of love between two people was ‘when you happily share your chicken schnitzel with that person’. Providing of course, you also feel a deep affection for chicken schnitzel, that is a beautiful and simple expression. Sometimes it all gets a bit complicated doesn’t it?
But it shouldn’t be. We humans tend to confuse the issue with miscommunication, and grand expectations of what love is. Perhaps if we were to accept a more simple definition of love that roughly meant ‘you are quite marvelous, I enjoy being around you and want only good things for you’ – it might be a little easier to clarify the ‘he loves me, she loves me not’ caper. Such a definition might also give way for some more love-share, wouldn’t you agree lovers?
|Action||Is it love?|
|Offers you the last dumpling||Yes, especially if they love dumplings|
|Picks you up from airport (without paying them, even though your taxi driver is probably very nice)||Yes, airport car parks are not for recreation|
|Visits you just to say hi, give hug||Yes, delight in it|
|Tells you when you’re being ridiculous||Yes, allowing you to run tangled delusion is cruel|
|Gives you a kidney||Yes, very much a keeper|
|Forwards an email with babies and/or puppies||Yes, babies and puppies are love saturation|
|Tells you your hair is like a flock of goats||Yes, I see you’ve met my friend Beauty|
Of course there are varying degrees of love here. As each person has a perfect communication method, people will express their love differently. It’s that old saying of ‘just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with everything they have’. I like that saying. It’s all about perspective.
Sometimes it’s not a showering of flowers and the verbal ‘I love you’. Sometimes it’s a bit more obscure. It is up to us to gauge each situation and in turn show our appreciation. Reciprocate. Love-share. Say thank-you. However we can. Whenever we can. Always. Don’t wait.
Because lovers, if we all start paying a touch more attention, and recognise the ways people show they reckon we’re awesome and just want good things for us – the more love shall abound. And that is a most wonderful thing.
And yourself? What are some of the more curious love-shares you’ve experienced? I’d very much like to hear about them.
Yours in Nonsense,
Sir Flamingo xo
P.S. A sneaky forward of this with a ‘I’d share my chicken schnitzel with you’ (or beetroot kofta ball salad for the vegetarians in the flock) would be a fine indication of your affection. Go on, lover.
P.P.S. And if it’s a romance-type thing and you aren’t connecting with their love-sharing, no matter how much you try, bow out and so you can both connect with someone who can.